Light a candle

Candles lit and looking for life, remembering love, and knowing its mine. I wanted to talk to you, its been too long, we are waiting here tonight, I dont know what to think, Im looking in new directions, new places they feel the same.

And I still remember how you looked to me, and how you still do, sometimes I cant believe it even still, I look to the place were your tiny footprints are there, in living proof that I had you at some point, really held you in my arms, that you are real and that you live on in more ways than I can fathom.

You are honored in every way, every free space in my mind is filled with memories of you. Offerings and blessings, prayers in the night, Loving and being, trying with intention to see past this life.

Waiting patiently for the return of everlasting connection. Not noticing the others. Ill write it all out. Healing and embracing is what I know in this. Feeling as Im looking for an excuse once more. I know where to be and Im trying today again, Im wanting to tell someone that all I need is something to hold...

There's not a day where I dont think about having another baby, its always in my mind, its there and Its not going away, but I like the thoughts, they can be a nice bubble of possibilities, any thought that might make me happy can not be a bad thing. I want to be in that place, life seems to just take to long, but I know I am still needing to contemplate my feelings. For now its just a desire for the one I feel I have lost in some way, though my heart tells me I haven't lost, my mind looks for a physical solution to this illusion of absence. . Im looking to you tonight for help in this, for help in realizing what I know already, but maybe some dumb little reassurance, because Im so terribly human it hurts. . I need my baby jaceic.

Looking to star and angel light
elemental magic to our own delight

A little pixies beautiful song
Memories of us living on

Waiting for truth to emerge once more.
Letting all imagination soar.

My dear one is held in everlasting love
All that surrounds is not only above

I make a promise to feel you near
To hold your hand, to see this clear.


I love so strongly, so deeply it begins to eat away at my sanity. Angels of the night, spirit of the universe, divine light of the comos, my love, my child.. lead me to the perfect place and balance in this love. Im wanting and needing to appreciate this love in every way possible.

My jaecic, you are beauty.
I love you in all that you are.

-Mommy. xoxo