Im thinking nothing, everything, something, crazy. Days are confused, confusion is unsettling, love is looking strangely at me tonight, as I try and remember the little things, so little they disappear when I look away, in every moment trying to slip out from my fingertips, holding on and letting go, constant flowing, changing every time, just little bits and peices, never going a day without these thoughts, never wanting, wishing or waiting for days without them, they tell me who you are, they tell me why, and in them you speak to me, in the best ways, always shifting into similar yet unfamiliar places.
Dreams full of memory, and a lack of understanding in the morning. Waking up head dizzy, trying to follow the thoughts leading to the recollections of a beautiful image. . there's always something Im sorry. I lost myself ... I come back.. I flow... im uneven..
I wobble and fall, but im here.. and your here..we are everywhere, in every moment. joining hands... I see into realities beyond recognition, and Im reaching for them for as long as I can without crying, my lazy daze has comforted those around us and kept me sane, show me love... where I had felt you take me before. .
Its a long night.. We'll be alright. Your sister misses you too much for me to bare, unknowingly, looking up at me wide eyed... I want to hold my baby brother...
We all do..
I love you. Im here. Your perfect. <3
-Love mommy
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